Preface:
In a world of increasing concerns of economic volatility, Clara Frost and William Oversvee-Choi come together to debate the driving question of most people’s economic concerns: Are cats worthwhile investments? With prospects of potential inflation and/or unemployment on the minds of most Americans, it is up to these bright individuals to help determine the course of our economic ways.
For: Cats Are the Purrfect Investment
With the state of the economy today, prices rise faster than anyone’s paycheck, and people are increasingly concerned about unnecessary expenses. Many critics argue that owning a cat is simply another financial burden in an already unstable economy. However, this argument fails to consider the countless ways cats actually save people money, improve their well-being, and even enhance a home’s aesthetic. When examined closely, cats may be one of the most economically beneficial investments a person can make.
According to the American Housing Survey, an estimated 16.2 million homes report having rat issues. These homes are infested with greasy, beady-eyed brown pests that chew through the structural foundations of buildings, leave behind putrid-smelling urine, and were the culprits behind the devastating spread of the bubonic plague. According to Expertise.com, in 2025, a singular exterminator visit costs between $200 and $400 on average. Depending on the severity of the infestation, several more visits may be required, resulting in a significant dent in your wallet. But there is a simple solution to this problem: a cat. To a cat, these disgusting rodents are not pests but a delectable, mouthwatering feast. Cats will happily eat up the rats before they get a chance to breed and infest your home, and suddenly, your rat problem solves itself.
With prices increasing everywhere, one may think that a cat is just another expense to worry about. However, people fail to realize that a cat’s effect on mental health is truly priceless. In fact, as prices rise, stress, dissatisfaction, and anxiety rise with them. Without cats, people are forced to constantly confront these issues with no escape. They are completely and utterly alone, left with only their crippling anxiety over the state of the economy. But cats bring people life (actually 9 lives). They are kind but territorial, gentle but feisty – they are complex characters, who provide a distraction from the outside world that seems to be collapsing by the minute. The vibration of a cat’s purr and the warm tone it creates provide a sense of comfort that is evermore powerful than financial security.
Keeping up with style and interior design trends can be a significant financial burden. But with a cat, you don’t need to pay for any of that. Let’s say you want a rustic-looking rug to place on your hardwood living room floor. Don’t worry – there is already enough cat hair spread across the floor that you can sweep it into a pile and craft a rug that makes a true statement: it’s natural, it’s chic, and most importantly, it’s free. Let’s say you have a black jacket, but you are wearing black pants, and you really want contrast in your outfit. Simply go and give your cat a big hug. Within seconds, your black jacket will develop elegant white and gray streaks all over it. And yes, it’s completely free. Even further into interior design, minimalism has been a recent trend amongst designers. Cats bring something quite dashing. An empty room with a small bowl of tuna cat food on the ground, filling the air with a bold, unforgettable aroma, true minimalism at its finest.
When all of these factors are considered, the “economic burden” of owning a cat quickly begins to look more like an economic advantage. If anything, the real question is not whether people can afford cats, but whether they can afford to live without one.
Against: The Burdening Burdensome Cats Pose to Our Economic Well-Being
We find ourselves here today with glaring uncertainty towards the affordability and economic stability of the future. Whether it be permanent housing, affordable rent, stable employment, gas prices, food prices or various unnecessary subscription services, we need to address the economic situation of our nation if we want us and future generations to prosper. The issue at hand is not a matter of demand or supply, capitalism or socialism, big or small government, but rather that of cats.
From the dawn of internet memes to the latest of internet memes, cats are ubiquitous throughout our society. They are in the streets, they are in the trees, and they are in our homes. One may intuitively conclude that since more than about 1 in 3 American households have at least one cat, as reported by the American Veterinary Medical Association and the American Pet Products Association, then there has to be value in having one of these fluffy (or shaved) creatures around. The affection, cuddliness, chirps, personalities, and other sentimental values associated with cats seemingly makes it well worth the investment to have one of these balls of fluff (or skin) around as company. But do not be fooled, these huggable-to-death felines have evolved to get into your homes with their cuteness under the impression that they will fill your life purely of joy and amusement while hiding the financial burden they will contribute to it. Such a financial burden will come in three forms: destruction of property, a loss in disposable income, and a decline in productivity.
If I am not mistaken, we value the things we own, correct? Whether it be a comfy couch, a nice silk-robe, a high-performance computer, we would prefer that these items remain undamaged while in our possession. Welp, if you have a cat you do not want to have things lying around for them to utterly destroy. These malevolent bundles of abominable adorability will scratch up your comfy couches, urinate on your nice silk robes, and short-circuit your high-performance computers by puking on the powerstrip. But it isn’t just those items that are threatened by the presence of the felis catus, but your indoor plants, your thin electrical cords, your fish in open-top fish tanks, your anything fragile left out on counter tops, and, worst of all, your carpets and rugs. Your property is not safe in the presence of a cat.
Continuing on, cats themselves have the reasonable expected costs like for adoption and veterinary care, but what will deceptively get you is the amount you spend on toys and other amenities for them. Their cuteness has the deceptive effect of making you care about their feelings and overall well-being, which is why you buy them such things. But the hard fact is that the majority of the toys you will buy for your cats will go unused and neglected. What is the point of purchasing your cat the $141.99 K&H Pet Products Thermo Mod Cat Shelter Weatherproof Outdoor Heated Cat House when they’ll just sleep with you on your bed? If you don’t want to be pulled into buying unnecessary things for your cat, instead of yourself, beware of the cat.
Finally, cats will reduce your overall productivity not only by reducing your hours of sleep, but because they are actively distracting me right now… awwww! (I am screaming for help).
